Outtakes from TMaHM: Memoirs of a Dom - Primrose Wine

I wrote this for the first FGB auction back in 2009. Kimberly was kind enough to bid on me and this was her winning piece. My prompt was her being one of Edward's previous subs. I hope you like what I came up with.

*smooches and squeezes*
Nan

Memoirs of a Dom

Primrose Wine

I didn’t often reflect on my life.

It wasn’t that I was ashamed of any of it. On the contrary, I wasn’t ashamed of any of my actions, in the least. I just never had the time to give it too much thought. Being with Bella made that different, though. Bella made everything different. She was such a natural at all of this; I didn’t have to spend as much time training her. Not only that, but she had already done so much research on her own.

I had never met anyone as prepared and analytical as she was. It nearly made me ashamed that I had never prepared myself in the same way. When I was initially getting into the lifestyle, I just jumped in with both feet. I was lucky to have found a patient Mistress in Trish, who had taken so much time and care with me. I owed my success as a Dom to her, too.

I thought being a submissive first would have better primed me for the life of a Dom. I was so wrong. Nothing could have readied me for the nearly crippling fear I felt the first time I was in control. Thankfully, Trish had been there to hold my hand and guide me through that experience as well.

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Chapter Ten - Raked Across the Coals

Raked Across the Coals

When I woke in the morning I was greeted by darkness. I could feel the mattress shifting, but I couldn’t see anything. When I tried to move my hands to my face to see what was covering my eyes, I couldn’t move them. Terror spiked through me, and I tried yanking at the restraints, both at my wrists and ankles.

Then I smelled him.

The bed shifted again and I felt him lean over me. “Good morning, my pet.”

I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. This wasn’t Edward’s voice. It was Master’s. I twisted and turned, trying to free my wrists and ankles to no avail. I wasn’t going anywhere. I ran through my memories, trying to figure out what would have caused this type of reaction, and I remembered last night.

My heart was flopping around in my chest, anxiety coursing through my veins. “Good morning, Master.” I knew the best course of action was to obey. But the only thought reverberating through my mind was ‘He knows!’

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Chapter Nine - Private Vows

Private Vows

I was awakened in the morning by my bed bouncing.  I reluctantly opened my eyes to find both Alice and Rose sitting on either side of me.  They were both bouncing with excitement and the need to ask questions.  I groaned and threw a pillow over my face.

“Do we have to do this now?” I muttered.

“Yes, now.  It’s tradition.  You can’t break tradition.”  Rose and her no-nonsense voice penetrated the comfort of the pillow over my head.  Then she yanked it away and got right in my face.  “So spill.”

If one was smart, they knew not to mess with Rosalie.  I was indeed smart.

“It was wonderful, okay?  I’ve never been so touched in my life.  It felt… I don’t know, exceptional?  I just know it felt right, for me.  Now can I go back to sleep?”  I tried to grab my pillow back, but she was much quicker.

“No, no, no, if you think you’re getting off that easy…” Rose started but Alice cut her off.

“Come on, Bells.  You’ve got to give us more than that.”  I should have expected Alice to jump in too.

I thought for a moment.  The entire experience was so intimate.  It was hard to pick just one moment.  “He told me I belonged to him.  I can’t even describe how that made me feel.  It was so… exhilarating.”

I thought about the other events and felt my face blush.  My friends noticed too.

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Chapter Eight - The Master

The Master

On Friday afternoon I received another call from Edward.  When I glanced at the caller ID on my phone, my heart skipped a beat when I saw his name.  What could he be calling me for today?  Was he canceling our session tomorrow?  Had he changed his mind about the party?

With a tentative finger, I accepted the call.

“Hello?”  I couldn’t keep the nerves out of my voice so I didn’t even bother trying.

“Isabella, its Edward, do you have a moment?”  His voice was intoxicating over the phone too.

“Of course, Sir.  Anything you want.”  He hummed in response.

“You may want to be careful what you say, my pet.  I might take you up on that.”  My cheeks reddened and I heard him chuckle.  I was glad that he couldn’t see me.

“What do I owe the pleasure of your call?”  I was starting to feel a little better about the call after our banter.

“I wanted to speak to you about tomorrow.  I apologize for the late notice on this, but I had to make sure everything was in place before I spoke to you.  I’ve made some arrangements for you at the party.”

“Yes, Sir?”

“I may not have properly explained to you the process for tomorrow.  I’ll go into more detail when you get here for your session, but I needed to speak with you about the party itself.”  I was a little confused, what did he need to tell me about the party?

“Um… okay.”

“I plan on making our agreement official, tomorrow.  I’ve sent you an email detailing a collaring ceremony, so you may want to look over the document so that you have something prepared.”

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Chapter Seven - Do You Want to Play with Me?

Do You Want to Play with Me?

We were coming down to the wire. Edward had yet to tell me for sure whether or not I was going to be his new submissive and it was wreaking havoc on my nerves. My concentration was shot and I was losing focus of everything that was going on around me.

My mind played back to the last session we had. It was the first time I had been permitted to touch him, and while I hadn’t actually done anything really, other than giving him a blowjob, it was still one of the best sexual encounters I’d ever had.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I could still feel the way the padded horse felt beneath my naked flesh. When I closed my eyes, I could hear the sound of our breathing. The smell of our combined arousal lingered in my nostrils. But even more than all of that, I could still feel the sensations of having the flogger strike my bare bottom. Thinking about it was making me wet. In fact, I was wetter now than I had been on Tuesday. It was hard to imagine that it had only been two days.

I knew we were going to have another session tonight, which Edward had told me. He had not, however, told me what it was he wanted to talk to me about. All he would say was that he had a proposition for me. I was giddy with excitement. Maybe tonight was going to be the night. Maybe he was going to present me with a collar. Surely if he was going to proposition me that meant that he wanted me, right?

I was starting to worry though if I had jumped the gun. Tomorrow was Friday and it would mark my last day here at the library. Indefinitely. It was terrifying. My entire adult life I had jobs that were around books and now I would be thrusting myself into the unknown. Was I really prepared? The image of Edward flashing through my brain told me that yes, I was prepared. I would do anything for Edward. Whether he knew it or not, he owned me, mind, body, and soul.

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Chapter Six - I Much Prefer the Flogger

I Much Prefer the Flogger

I was nearly certain my eyes would cross. The harmless looking manila envelope Edward had given turned out to be one massive fucking headache. There were checklists, a contract, a list of the levels of submission, an information guide on safe words, and other various documents. While most of the information was extremely useful, it made me want to pull my fucking hair out and scream. I never realized how detailed I would have to be in order to gain entry to this world. It was insanity.

Most of the activities on the checklist I had heard of, but there were some that I had no clue what they were. Such as dilation. Not only did it sound extremely painful, but wasn’t that dangerous too? And the idea of being auctioned off for charity was slightly disturbing, but I had told Edward I would only sub for him, would he follow that? Google helped me a lot, but there are certain things that you can never unlearn. I’m hoping the list of items I searched for today don’t fall in that category. Like scat, and fisting, and pony torture.

The purpose of the checklist was twofold. One, it would give Edward an idea of the things I had already done. Two, it would tell him what I was interested in doing, willing to try, and what things I might have had a fetish about. As red-faced as it had made me, I tried to be as honest as possible throughout the whole questionnaire.

This was a complex process that they took very seriously. The contract was the real deal that stated specifically what was expected and what was not tolerable. It was to be signed by Edward, me, and a witness as well. I wasn’t sure where it would be kept, but I assumed from the triplicate copies, I would be getting one for my own records.

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Chapter Five - Tie Me Up or Down

The Mistress and Her Master

Tie Me Up or Down

I couldn’t sleep that night. Thoughts of Edward and our meeting tomorrow were racing through my mind. I still wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but how could I? I was painfully new to this lifestyle. What did I wear? What would we talk about? Was he going to request a session with me?

Somewhere around 4 am, I groaned in frustration. Only six more hours before our meeting. Alice, Rose, and Leah had tried to pry details out of me the night before, but I was in too much of a daze to have an intelligent conversation.

Everyone had still been tense about the whole James situation, but Leah had assured us that Edward would handle it. He had more clout in the community than I had initially imagined. Almost everyone looked to him for advice and as an example. Any subs Edward had trained were almost as highly coveted as he was. The whole situation was making me entirely too nervous.

It seemed that if I agreed to be Edward’s sub, I would be watched and criticized by everyone. I wasn’t really sure how that made me feel. I was also unsure if that fact would sway my decision. I wasn’t too keen on being the center of attention.

Ultimately, I decided to at least go and talk to him before I thought too hard about it. I had to think of it from all angles at once. I also had a very strong desire to just see him, to be near him. I was sure that was going to influence my choice. That part couldn’t be helped though. He was just so stunning, so… virile. Everything about him drew you in, like he was the predator and I was the prey.

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